Here's to Friendship, Here's to Love
by Number VIII - Axel
Summary: Axel and Demyx talk about a lot of things. Mentions of Roxas. Spoilers for anyone who has yet to play the game, I'm sure. AxelDemyx with hints of Axel having feelings for Roxas as well. Semiphilosophical. Rated T for bad language.


Here's to Friendship, Here's to Love

One Shot

Pairing: Axel/Demyx, nothing hardcore, though. Give it a shot, you might be pleasantly surprised. Also, Axel talks a little about his (theories of) feelings towards Roxas.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Demyx and Axel talk about stuff. Semi-philosophical, I suppose.

* * *

He'd been gone again. He'd been disappearing a lot lately, and it was beginning to worry Demyx. Axel wasn't one to spend his time moping about with thinking. Really, Demyx had always taken the fiery redhead as the type of person who would rather act without necessarily planning things out. Granted the musician didn't really know Axel as well as he would have liked. They were friends, weren't they? But he wasn't really sure. Axel seemed to not want to have any ties with anyone in the Organization. Except, of course, for Roxas. Roxas was different. Demyx could _feel_ it. The kid was just… well, he wasn't very loyal to begin with, and he could wield the keyblade. A sigh escaped Demyx's lips and he peered out of the window, noting that it had started to rain. 

A split-second decision later, Demyx was out walking in the soothing downpour, simply enjoying (or at the very least pretending to) the sensation of the drops hitting his exposed skin. He'd wandered out barefoot, for no reason except a vague, faded memory of his lifetime when he'd done that as a somebody. The water caused his hair to wilt, and it looked less and less like a mohawk, weighted and wet. That same withering memory urged him to spread his arms and spin on his heel, looking up to the purple-grey heavens as a smile spread across his lips. There was something so soothing about imitating the things he'd enjoyed when he'd been more alive. And Demyx always wondered if he was the only one who actually gave in to these little urges. He let out a small sound that could only be called a soft laugh as he finally leaned against a lamp post. Despite everything, he'd enjoyed remembering those tidbits of his past.

The rain was still falling, soaking him. He smoothed his hair back and out of his face, making a mess of it at the same time. Closing his eyes, face turned to the sky, he marveled at the feeling of the water striking him and trickling down. His eyes opened suddenly when it stopped.

"You'll catch pneumonia or something." Axel's voice said suddenly and Demyx realized that the redhead was holding an umbrella over them both. Demyx laughed.

"I was wondering where'd you'd gone."

"I was just thinking is all." Axel replied cryptically. Demyx nodded. Like he'd observed earlier, this had become a pastime of increasing importance to the redhead. Or perhaps it had always been? Only recently had they had less and less missions from the Superior. Well, Demyx, at least. Then again, that could be because Xemnas had noticed that the musician wasn't much of a fighter. That's actually what he had chalked it up to until he noticed that several of the other members also had a lot of free time.

"Thinking about what?" Demyx asked suddenly, somewhat startling the other. Axel blinked, apparently having lapsed into another round of said task. Glancing to the side with a look that could only be nostalgia, he sighed. He closed his eyes for a moment and finally replied at length.

"A lot of stuff at once, really… Roxas… wants to leave."

"I knew he wasn't real loyal, but he can't do that—if they catch him they'll—he'll be turned into a dusk…" Demyx's voice was laced with a mixture of surprise and worry. Getting turned into a dusk was like a demotion. More than that, actually; the more fitting description was 'de-evolution.'

"What's worse is that if he refuses to come back and get turned into a dusk… you know they'll make us destroy him…" Axel frowned. You really couldn't kill something that wasn't really alive, but it still felt strange saying it that way. Especially about the very nobody that made him feel so close to… being somebody. "I won't be able to."

"Axel…" Demyx mumbled. "You know I won't tattle. Even if I told someone, I hardly think they'll listen. They all think I'm stupid."

"Because you insist that we've got hearts, but let's not get into that." Axel mumbled and the musician nodded in reply. "Let's go somewhere a little dryer, ok?"

"But I like the rain…" Demyx whined playfully. Axel shot him a glare and he dropped his gaze to the floor apologetically. The redhead led them to a tiny little bar in the slums of the World That Never Was. It was unkempt and very dingy, but it seemed cozy at the same time. Inside, the air hung heavy with a layer of cigarette smoke that made everything hazy. Demyx coughed quietly, never having been one to enjoy the scent of cigarettes. He padded behind Axel, dripping as he went all while making sure he didn't accidentally step in a puddle of vomit or something equally disgusting. Maybe shoes would have been a good idea after all… They sat at a booth in the far corner of the establishment, partly secluded from the rest by a ratty silk tree that patrons obviously mistook for an ashtray.

Axel hung the umbrella behind his chair and reached into his robe pockets to retrieve a crushed packet of Basics, extracting a thin cigarette and letting it sit limply in his mouth as he lit it with a snap of his fingers. A few puffs later, he took it out of his mouth to tap it against the ashtray on the table that was in serious need of a cleaning. Demyx looked around at the random bits of memorabilia that littered the walls. Among them was a Beatles poster, a dented trombone, and an old photo of some high school marching band. Fitting. He looked at Axel expectantly, wondering if they'd sit here silently for much longer.

"I won't say much, but I've been thinking of maybe… going with him." Axel said suddenly.

"But… then you'll get—what if _you_ get caught? Xem—the Superior doesn't much care for you as it is. You don't need to be _giving_ him a reason to turn you into a dusk…" Demyx sputtered.

"As shitty as this half-existence is, I don't think I could handle it without Roxas around." Axel took another drag of his cigarette. "Demyx… he makes me feel like I… Like I _am_ somebody. Just by_ talking_ to him—hell, being around him…"

Demyx sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair (which was also frizzing up in the most annoying way, but he'd remedy that later). "I… I should've guessed. I mean, it suits your element. Rash and unpredictable as the dancing flame." He shook his head in what almost seemed a wistful manner. "I can't join you guys, you know. I'm… just—"

"—a wimp." Axel supplied, smirking as he tapped more ashes into the pile. Demyx frowned. At this point, a waitress came up to the table. She was disheveled, hair in messy pigtails. Her kohl-lined eyes looked deader than anything they'd ever seen as she chewed on a wad of pink bubblegum in what seemed to be the most annoying way she could muster.

"What can I getcha?" she deadpanned in a voice as equally lifeless as her eyes.

"Scotch. On the rocks." Axel said, putting out the butt of his cigarette and reaching for another in one fluid motion. She chewed in response and looked at Demyx, expression unchanging.

"Uh… I guess a screwdriver…" he said, scratching the back of his neck. She nodded and turned on her heel towards the bar, barking the drinks to the tender. Axel looked at the dented trombone on the wall with a bored expression on his face, cigarette hanging precariously between his first and middle fingers, elbow propped up on the table.

"Maybe if I follow him, I'll find a heart."

"Don't you mean your other?"

"Fuck my other. I want a life for me. Think about it, Demyx. If we find our others, provided they're even still alive—we'd probably just become part of them. I don't want that. I like being separated; I just want to be human."

"I guess that makes sense. I remember my other. Sometimes I have dreams about what he used to do—and memories too. I like doing those things; it makes me feel something, even though it's vague, y'know?"

"I guess. That's why I have these things." Axel raised the cigarette. "They've got this nostalgic sense about them. But I digress—I want to live, Demyx, and I want to gain my own heart. Wouldn't that be nice? I mean, that's the only reason I'm in the Organization. Xemnas… says he's trying to find Kingdom Hearts for us, right?"

"Yeah," Demyx scratched at his hairline, "but I don't even know if he's sincere."

"Me neither. Actually, he's probably just using us to get Kingdom Hearts for himself. Something tells me he could care less if we all die."

"I wouldn't put it past him. He's got an overlarge ego." Demyx said with a nod.

Axel chuckled, supporting his chin with his propped hand, cigarette still hanging somewhat limply from between his fingers. "Probably compensating for something." Demyx laughed. The girl came back then, giving either his drink.

"Anything else?" she said, still in monotone.

"Nah, we're set." Axel replied, smirking at her. She left, unfazed by Axel's attempt at charm. "Clearly that woman has given up."

"Well, if I worked in a shit hole like this, I would've too."

"True enough." The redhead sighed, propping what was left of his cig on the edge of the ashtray. He took a few gulps of his drink and continued. "Honestly, I have no idea why we're having this conversation. Don't think I'm weird, but it just feels like something you should know."

"That's fine. I was actually wondering where you kept disappearing off to earlier, before you caught me playing in the downpour." The musician said, sipping his drink cautiously. Despite the place's appearances, they at least had a good bartender, Demyx noted. Not too strong, but not too weak. He took another sip and put the glass down. So that's why people came here… the drinks were good enough to put up with the overall shadiness that surrounded them. "Thanks."

"For what?" Axel blinked.

"Telling me, I guess. Makes me feel like… like we're really friends." Demyx smiled. Axel shook his head.

"Anytime." He replied, raising his glass. "Here's to being friends, plotting escapes, and finding hearts." Demyx raised his glass up, clinking it against Axel's. They finished off their drinks, leaving more than enough payment on the table for the cynical waitress and they made their way back to the entrance. Once outside, Demyx noted with delight that it was still raining. Axel scowled, searching for his umbrella, realizing he'd left it hanging on the chair inside. Before he could go back inside, Demyx grabbed his arm.

"Oh, won't you live a little?" he asked, yanking on the redhead's arm, effectively dragging him into the falling rain. Axel flinched as the water hit him before getting used to it. It was… weirdly soothing, even for him. He sighed happily, letting Demyx lead him further.

"Fine, just this once," he laughed, "But I still hate the rain."

"Doesn't seem like it to me." Demyx countered, "Besides, it feels nice."

"I'll give you that." Axel agreed. Demyx's hand loosened and eventually let go of Axel's and he unconsciously started twirling and dancing to unheard music. A smile played across Axel's lips as he watched, walking behind, hands stuffed in his pockets. Demyx truly had a fair amount of grace when he wasn't being forced to do things he didn't like and when music was involved. Give him a beat and he was no longer out of touch. Axel's eyes widened when Demyx turned around and grabbed him, pulling him into a revolution, spinning them 'round a few times before letting go. "Gee, you sure get excited in the rain."

"Much like you enjoy simply watching a candle flicker in the wind." Demyx pointed out. Axel made a quiet 'hmph' noise. He didn't know people actually paid attention to him that closely. "The rain just… makes me feel at home wherever I am." Demyx finished, glancing back at the redhead, his hair trailing over his face as a wistful smile graced his features. Axel smirked back, reaching a hand out to the musician. Demyx took it and pulled him into a round of what could only be described as ring-around-the-roses. They toppled over laughing, Demyx pushing himself up to give Axel some room as he'd landed on top of the other. Something inAxel's gut told him to pull the musician down close, so he did. They stared into each others eyes for an undeterminable length of time—it seemed like forever. Demyx could've sworn he was hypnotized by Axel's emerald eyes because before he was even aware of any movement, Axel's lips met his in a very soft, lingering kiss.

"Sorry." The redhead murmured, looking away. Demyx blinked, the shock finally wearing off.

"Why…?" was all he could say.

"It just… felt like something I should do." Came the reply. Demyx nodded and smiled.

"Do it again… I liked it." Demyx whispered. Now it was Axel's turn to blink in surprise. He nodded slowly and complied, placing another kiss on Demyx's lips. He noticed how soft they were, warm despite the rain. His hand cupped the back of Demyx's head, holding his face close. There was something so right about kissing him like this, but he couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was the alcohol… but one scotch didn't usually affect him so he didn't write it off as being tipsy. Demyx made all of his thoughts cease when he pulled Axel up into a sitting position, deepening the kiss. The rain was slowing now, fog beginning to rise from the street. There was something surreal about the entire scenario. Demyx pulled back.

"We should get back to the castle." Axel said softly.

"We should." Demyx agreed. Neither did anything for a long moment. The quiet was relaxing; the ritardando of the rain's pattering having a calming effect. He got up, pulling Axel up with him. They walked in comfortable silence for a while, seeing the dark outline of the Castle That Never Was looming up ahead. "Do you… Have you kissed Roxas…?" he asked quietly. Axel stopped walking, pulling Demyx to face him.

"Do you think I should?" he asked, "I've thought about it…"

"Did you think about it with me?" Demyx asked. Axel nodded. "Why haven't you?"

"I'm… What if it freaks him out?" the redhead mumbled pathetically, glancing away. Demyx hooked a finger under Axel's chin, forcing his face upwards.

"Something tells me it won't. I just know these things. Go for it. Before the inevitable. You'll regret not doing it otherwise." Demyx said, looking Axel in the eyes. Axel nodded. "And here's to love…" Demyx trailed off, leaning down to kiss the redhead's semi-parted lips. This kiss wasn't like the others—the others had been tame, soft. This one was filled with a hunger and a passion that neither knew they were capable of. Their lips crushed together, heated. Demyx nibbled on Axel's lower lip and let go. "…Which we'll never truly feel." He finished and continued the walk to the castle. Axel absently reached up to feel his lips, shook his head and smirked before following Demyx.

_Not until we get our own hearts. Until then, we'll just go through the motions as if it's a morbid rehearsal.

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**Author's Note:** I have no idea where this really came from. I just felt like writing something fluffy and half-philosophical. I liked the mental image of Demyx dancing in the rain. It's incredibly cute and whimsical. :3 I hope you all liked it too. Demyx's serious self makes a subtle appearance at the end, there… I love his alter-personality.


End file.
